I miss that girlfriend sensation.
Security, compassion, respect,and love.

You have to be an idiot to not want to be there. 

Fall asleep every night with love literally under your arm and tell me it doesn’t change you. 

What really gets me is Iv always been so scared of it. Run away from it every chance I get. So it’s no surprise that when she left me I fell into an old and comfortable self. I felt dirty, I don’t regret it, but I regressed. 

Through a wave of love lost and found, I felt I could bring myself back up. Be the man I was becoming. A man I was proud of. With Responsibility, compassion, respect, and love. I knew I could do it.

With that confidence I should be making leaps and bounds. I should be climbing such a ladder at an incredible pace. Instead I hold my footing and get really good at stagnating.  

Ironic or fitting, I’ll let you decide. Now that the so called “love of my life” is about to return, I am just fucking everything that comes my way. If this is a defense mechanism I just don’t get it.

Anyways Im going on another date with a random babe from the internet and you know how these have gone lately.

Fuck.